My son and I live in a two story home. The master bedroom is on the main floor with the rest of the rooms upstairs. My son had yet to be born when my ex and I purchased the home and we didn’t think through the logistics very well.
Fast forward many years and I am still in the house with my 5 year old son. He was 2 years old when my ex moved out. During those early years, I didn’t think twice about having him sleep with me.
He is now 5 years old and I am torn whether I should make him sleep in his room upstairs. The house has 3 bedrooms upstairs so, initially, I slept in one room and tried to get him to sleep in his own room, with the master bedroom downstairs left unused. Every night, he would come into my room and crawl in bed with me. So after awhile, we both made the move back downstairs and he has been sleeping with me in the master bedroom.
I know there’s two camps about letting your kids sleep with you. Those against it cite things like teaching independence, self reliance, and privacy for the parents.
But is it a little different for single parents with one child? My feeling is that a single parent has to provide double the affection and attention. Even when my son wakes up during the night, I want him to feel secure in the fact that I am there for him. And I don’t really subscribe to the idea that there’s a set age when a child should be made to sleep alone…at least within certain limits. There are cultures where the whole family sleeps together in the same room.
I think a child will start to develop a sense of independence on their own as the child ages. Even at 5 years of age, I see my son wanting less and less of my help. I think the important thing is for the parent to encourage and praise this development rather than setting time or age limits.
What do you think? Do you let your child sleep with you?
How often do we see dads getting custody of their children in divorce cases? Statistically, I think it’s less than 10%, and those cases in which the father IS awarded custody, many involve some sort of drug abuse or violence by the mother.
Because the percentages are so one-sided for mothers getting custody that the general view is that most dads do not want custody. This is especially true when you have so many divorced mothers blogging about their “no-good-for-nothing” exes. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are deadbeat dads who want nothing to do with their children and these guys deserve everything the system or blogosphere throws at them.
But isn’t there more to the dad/child custody dynamic than fathers who’ve walked away from their children and responsibility? How many fathers are shut out from the lives of their children or relegated to a standard visitation by a system that still favors the mother. Despite all the progress that’s been made by the feminist movement, the family court system still seems woefully stuck in the view that women just by the nature of their gender are better caregivers than men.
Loading ...
Recent Comments